


I Won't Run Away

by forgedinbowelsofhell



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 15:55:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17645846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgedinbowelsofhell/pseuds/forgedinbowelsofhell
Summary: She should be happy... but she isn’t. A part of her knows that Marcus isn’t who she truly “desires”. That she’s merely pretending to be in love because she can’t wait for the right man – the one that her heart screams for– to change his mind.





	I Won't Run Away

He’s great, her reasonable part of her mind keeps telling her. He’s great. Dependable, responsible, kind and caring. He’s good-looking. He has green eyes, he has great arms, too. She sees women turning their heads just to appreciate him for another second. She’s gotten half the female population at the precinct patting her on the back for ‘landing the prize’. And it’s true. She should be happy.. but she isn’t. A part of her knows that Marcus isn’t who she truly “desires”. That she’s merely pretending to be in love, because she can’t wait for the right man – the one that her heart screams for– to change his mind. She’s given him enough chances now. And somehow, despite how much she’s promised herself that she won’t let Lucifer ruin this, he’s become the topic of the night again.

“Chloe, why do you care about what he thinks about us?” Pierce asks and she tries to deny it half-heartedly, unable to convince either of them. She tells him Lucifer is his partner and that’s it and she’s determined to repeat it over and over again until it’s nothing but the truth and she’s finally content with being with Marcus. Her mind betrays her, though, hand clutching on the bullet necklace her boyfriend has subtly asked her to take off. He notices, a scoff mixed with hurt leaves his lips. Marcus shakes his head, telling her they should talk when she’s made up her mind. Surprisingly, he’s kind. He sounds mostly defeated, leaving Chloe alone with her thoughts. She can sense the pitiful looks she’s getting. Quickly gathering herself, the detective makes her exit soon after he does.

So, yes, this isn’t how she imagined her night would end. With trails of tears on her face for a man-child, slightly drunk and overall miserable. She tries to find her keys, her small black bag falling on the ground and making her huff. Her fingers are trembling because she’s exhausted, mentally and emotionally, and the alcohol isn’t helping. “Finally,” she mumbles to herself when she manages to unlock the door. There’s a muffled noise from upstairs and she tries to find her gun until she realizes it’s Lucifer. Her mind is all over the place that she doesn’t even question it. Taking off her coat, she’s ready to go upstairs and reprimand the devil for invading her privacy again.

Then she hears Mazikeen… moan.

She freezes on the spot, for a split second unable to put two and two together. She’s always known they slept together. She did. Maze and drunken Linda always remembered to mention how good he is in bed during Tribe nights, making Chloe huff girlishly, shaking her head. But, for some reason, she’s thought it was in the past. And it is – with Linda, she knows that much and a part of her assumed it was the same with Maze after she’s befriended the demon and moved in together. Evidently not. She hears Mazikeen shout something in a language she doesn’t recognize and Lucifer’s growl is enough to make her turn around and slam the door shut. She’s angry – how dare he? /How/ dare he when he knows she lo- cares for him.. or does he? She’s been so occupied with Marcus that they’ve barely talked over the past few weeks. She yelled at him and pushed him away, all in order to protect herself, breaking both of their hearts in the process. He followed her around like a lost puppy for a while, always obedient and only seeking her acceptance. Then he toned it down after she told him to back off.  _So, what?_ _Does that mean he gets to sleep with my roommate – in my apartment?_

The answer is no, of course. Perhaps he’s acting out, but that doesn’t give him the right to.. the right to.. before she can finish her thoughts, the door opens. She’s sitting on the chair outside, make up messed up and tears running down her face. She’s crying. Wait – why is she crying? She’s mad. She’s angry, not sad. She shouldn’t be crying. Chloe turns her head away from the door, sniffling and wiping away her tears along with her make-up.

“Detective?” comes his soft voice and she mentally curses herself for craving his touch. “Detective? You’re.. you’re crying.” He sounds like a child who’s seen a puppy first time. Lost, curious and afraid to scare it off.

Maze stumbles out after him before she can respond and she’s grateful for it. Chloe sniffles, watching the demon shove Lucifer away, angry. “Get out.” But he’s too focused on Chloe to listen to her, so Maze’s voice rises. “/Lucifer/. Get out.” That seems to draw his attention. Reluctantly, Lucifer disappears into the night and Maze falls onto the chair next to her. They stay silent for a while, Chloe being too busy to remind herself how much of an idiot she is for ruining what she had with Marcus for a man like Lucifer. Maze can’t take it anymore and finally breaks the disturbing silence.

“You said you’d be with Pierce tonight.” A twisted kind of apology. Not even for what they’ve done, only for their bad-timing. Chloe scoffs a bit, shaking her head. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Decker. I told you it-”

“You did, Maze. I just – I thought you’d have the decency to..” stop after we became friends and I literally told you I had feelings for him. “..not do whatever creepy demon-devil roleplay you have going /here/.”

“Amenadiel and Linda are dating.” She says, making Chloe raise an eyebrow in confusion. “So I have no one. You’re.. dating Pierce now. So, neither does Lucifer. That’s how it’s always been – him and me against everything. And the idea of the /past/ was.. it was tempting.”

There’s no answer from Chloe. She pulls her legs up to her chest, hugging them and sniffling as Maze continues. “He’s a mess, Decker. Because of you. He doesn’t know what to do, so he’s clinging to his.. past.”

Silence falls again and Chloe sniffles once more, suddenly feeling cold. “I’m not mad.” She eventually says, seeing Maze shrug even though she knows the brunette is relieved despite how she always tries to play it cool.

“Good. You don’t get to be. Now get up and take a shower, Decker. You look like hell.” The detective chuckles as she watches Maze walk inside and hears her say, “Ugh, feelings make me sick.”

 

 

She throws herself into work again. It used to be her best solution for everything, now it’s hell. She has to avoid her ex-husband, her ex-boyfriend and.. and.. Lucifer. She can never find the right word to describe him. Dan is a close friend now and she’s okay with that. She is. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting when she notices how he always makes time for Charlotte. It’s not jealousy, she’s even happy for him, but she can’t help but feel as if it was her that wasn’t worthwhile. And then there’s Marcus – he’s gentle and careful, but all of it feels calculated. Like he’s only with her for a purpose and she can’t even begin to understand what he can possibly need. Not to mention he’s walked out on her during a date because she refused to take off a necklace. And Lucifer.. she can’t even begin to count all the times he’s broken her heart. _Maybe they all realized I’m not worth it._ The cruel voice in the back of her mind speaks. The constant knocks on the door distract her, then, and she’s thankful. A part of her wishes for it to be Marcus so that she can fix this – and she can go back to convincing herself she’s with the man she should be with and ignore the gut feeling that says there’s something wrong.

 

“Tribe niiiiiiiight!” comes Ella’s voice instead, two arms already dragging her to the car before she can even refuse. She lists at least ten weak excuses as to why she can’t go out, but Linda and Ella eventually win. They end up at Lux, because deep down everyone feels at home there. There’s no need to worry about strangers, no instinct to stay sober because that man over there is suspicious, or that there might be something in their drinks. They all know there’s a guardian angel (and a demon, too, honestly they never worry much Maze is around) watching over. The said demon joins them later and doesn’t stay long, dragging a tall brunette man into the elevator. Linda is second to get distracted, flirting shamelessly with one of the bartenders while Ella is dancing. Surprisingly, she’s good at it. Chloe, on the other hand, decides to drink until she can ignore everything and have fun, but it doesn’t seem to stop. She’s had.. God knows how many drinks and apparently between the third and the seventh (she assumes that’s how many), she’s skipped the fun Chloe and jumped right into the depressed drunken state. Her hand goes for the necklace again and she /finally/ takes it off.

 It’s a few more drinks later and she doesn’t remember what’s prompted her to do it, but she finds herself in the penthouse. He isn’t there. _Of course he isn’t._ She scolds herself. _He’s probably somewhere else, enjoying someone else’s company._ And she’s glad he isn’t there because how is she supposed to explain why she’s there?

She should leave. Instead, she pours herself another drink and enjoys the view from the balcony. The elevator starts moving up again and the noise causes her to panic a little – so she does what she thinks is the best way to avoid the awkwardness. She rushes to the Italian leather couch, shutting her eyes and pretending to be asleep. Again. The elevator doors open with a ding and she hears a woman giggling. Lucifer’s voice fills the room, telling her where the bedroom is. Then they both fall silent. _Yep, they’ve seen me._ She’s embarrassed herself once again, barging into his penthouse and ruining probably what’d be a perfect night for him. “Didn’t know we’d have company,” the girl says, a bit too suggestive as if they could just wake her up and convince her to join a threesome. “Neither did I,” Lucifer replies, confusion evident in his voice.

He kindly sees the woman out, despite her insistence and how “they could keep quiet” and she’s eternally glad. Finally, she fakes a yawn, sitting up. Whether it’s believable or not, she doesn’t know but Lucifer doesn’t comment. “Detective! I thought it was girls’ night.”

“It is,” she replies, feeling a bit sheepish now. “It was... too loud downstairs.” It’s the worst excuse ever, probably, but he doesn’t dwell on it. Just like he never has during her birthday when they threw a party in his penthouse without him. She isn’t sure if it’s because he doesn’t care much, or that he trusts her enough to not question it.

“Ah. Well. Good thing you’re here.” He slides his hand into his pocket, plucking out her necklace – his gift. Damn it, she must’ve dropped it. “I found this.”

“I didn’t see you at Lux. How did you find it?” She says weakly, taking the bullet necklace from his hands.

“I had business to attend to, so I arrived a little later than usual.” He grabs a bottle of bourbon, his back turned to her now. “I thought the clip was broken, but it see-”

“I took it off,” Chloe interrupts, noting how he freezes on the spot for a moment. Sliding the precious gift into her pocket, she sinks back into the couch.

“Oh.” He replies, picking up his glass and downing almost half of it before he feels ready to face her way again. There’s a long pause and neither of them seems to have anything to say, then Lucifer manages to find the courage. “It was inappropriate.” Another pause. “What I did. Last week. Maze was..”

“Yes,” she says, nodding. The alcohol has kicked in a long while ago and she’s glad. She wants to speak without caring, for once. “It was. And – and I am disappointed, Lucifer. Are you doing it on purpose? Is it your way of getting back at me for Marcus? Do I need to remind you that you have /no/ right when it was you who ran off to Vegas?” She wants to sound angry, but instead she sounds exhausted. Lucifer sits down next to her, elbows resting on his knees as he stares down at the floor.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You /never/ do, but I’m always – I just.. You slept with Maze. My roommate. In my apartment. You have half of L.A.’s population on your contacts, it could’ve been anywhere and anyone, but it had to be Maze and my apartment. And you’re saying it wasn’t to hurt me.” She angrily wipes the single tear rolling down on her cheek. “I don’t want to keep doing this. I don’t want to mess up a great relationship because I refuse to take off a necklace. I don’t want to be crying over you when I could be having an amazing night.”

He remains quiet for a while and she tries to stop the tears forming in her eyes. “Would it make your life easier if I left?” He asks after the long, deafening silence.

“No.” Her reply is curt and quick.

 “It’s my turn to speak, then,” he says, playful yet timid. “I’m afraid. I’m afraid that he will hurt you. I’m afraid that I won’t have any place in your life anymore. I’m.. I’m afraid there’s so much you don’t know about me that if I tell you, you might run away. I can’t show it to you, right now, and it’s not fair. You need to know, Detective, I.. before..” He trails off. Chloe shifts a bit closer, trying to silence her mind. She’s accepted that there are some things she will never understand about him. She's entertained so many ideas - including the possibility that he might be the literal devil - and every time she found herself accepting him.

She places her hand on his cheek, caressing it with her thumb. It’s moments like these that she sees how much he respects her, how much he cares about her.  

“I won’t run away.” She says and it’s obvious in his eyes – he doesn’t believe her. He doesn’t believe that he can be loved after everything he’s done, but Chloe Decker knows better. She leans closer slowly, pressing her lips against his. Lucifer returns it with love and gratitude, his breath hitching. Neither of them say a word after that. He wipes any evidence of tears from her face, pulling her into his arms. She falls asleep there, the safest she’s felt in her life.

They can face whatever it is he’s so afraid of later, she decides.

Together.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from and that was how I planned it to go, but here we are. It's a bit messy due do its randomness and my laziness to edit. I'd like to know what you think.


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